Of Love and Chance and everything in between (In honor of happy hearts day)

I have often been characterized

as being faint of heart

not because of my spindly stature

and measly weight

but more for not leaving much to chance

I stocked up on the essentials early on:

went to a good school, got good grades,

furthered my education to ensure a good life.

I provided for the needs of the ones I loved and cared for

but wasn't really too big on the L word.

I didn't believe in its profundity then.

All I saw was a predisposition for pain,

for disappointment, for incalculable risks.

I relied more on rationality than anything else,

thinking through every possible thing in my head

leading to some lost opportunities,

some wounded pride and more essential

small parts of me lost to chance.

But love, as I have learned,

should not be a shackle that binds you.

It does not overcome all the troubles

the world most frequently has to offer.

It is not an emulsifying agent that will make us

better able to go against the world.

It helps us become better than what we are now.

It's paradoxical nature has escaped the tenets

of logical thinking for as long as I can remember,

but I understand it now. At least I think I do.

For all the craziness in this mortal world,

I feel safest in love's sweet embrace.

The more you love me, the more I am able

to fully comprehend what love is and isn't --

at the same time--it's about boundaries

and chance and adversity and letting go.

'Cause its when you leave things to chance

that life comes right back

and surprises you with something better.

Words fail me often,

but I'll try to say it the best way I know how:

I love you, babe.