A Wanderer's Thoughts

**did you guys ever read the Host? mas maka relate kayo if you have. hehe. But read this all the same. I hope I've done the character justice somehow.

This is all I can offer,

take it away,

this grieving heart,

and rend it to pieces

while you’re at it

for if you can bear to suffer through

this then surely, you’ll understand.

Is this what it means to be human?

To experience the depth and breadth

of what being flesh and bones entails?

No wonder you aren’t so civilized.

Unlike us sentient beings, who

persist in your consciousness

because of your stubborn resistance

(or is it reluctance, I wonder?)

to changes that are instituted for your own good,

so your species may thrive for another

thirty, or even a hundred more years.

Yours is a world much younger than

most others, I fear.

Would you know how to nurture

and care for it, long after we have gone?

And yet

And yet there is this

abstract idea called love.

I’ve yet to understand how it works.

It gives you strength when you are weak,

pushes you on when you’ve lost all else,

drives you to go beyond what you are capable of.

Such a beautiful, altruistic potential,

yet gruesomely ugly at times

for it can push you to hurt numbers

even when you are protecting others,

it can even drive you towards violence

if it would mean salvation for a precious few

for it is all that matters, it seems,

and that is all that matters now.

So here I am, a sentient being

trapped in this human shell

that loves not one, but many others.

Will they see the love I have for them

in my sacrificing myself tonight?

I have no idea, no qualms whatsoever.

For if it will be for their survival, their happiness

then that will be all that matters.